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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977600">Every Breathe You Take</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/achickpeasalad/pseuds/achickpeasalad'>achickpeasalad</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bleach</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Tragedy, Bullying, Child Neglect, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Green Eyes, Loneliness, M/M, Minor Violence, Original Character(s), Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Stalker, Stockholm Syndrome, Teenage Drama, Underage Sex, everyone is an emotional mess, teenage angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:55:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23977600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/achickpeasalad/pseuds/achickpeasalad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Every breath you take,<br/>Every move you make,<br/>Every bond you break,<br/>Every step you take,<br/>I'll be watching you."<br/>-The Police</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hisagi Shuuhei/Matsumoto Rangiku, Hisagi Shuuhei/Muguruma Kensei, Hisagi Shuuhei/Original Male Character(s), Muguruma Kensei/Yadoumaru Lisa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Story title inspired by a very famous but widely misunderstood love song by The Police which actually makes it very appropriate for this story. Warnings below. </p><p>P.S. For the sake of the story, Shuuhei has green eyes.</p><p>WARNING: manipulation, implications of abuse and rape of a minor</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Present</em>
</p><p>He was dripping wet and shivering. Rain pounded around the awning he was sheltering under, the wind whipping right through his thin, cotton shirt. He clutched his schoolbag tightly to his middle, as if it would give him some kind of warmth. It was the same gaudy purple and green tattered thing. It even still had the Greenpeace button pinned to the front pocket.</p><p>I could see his pert nipples right through that shirt. </p><p>I licked my lips. "Hey, kid?"</p><p>He looked up, his runny nose shining red. Lightning flashed, highlighting the jagged scar and yellowing bruise on his cheek. His soft green eyes widened when he saw me. I tightened my grip on the umbrella handle.</p><p>"Need a place for the night?"</p><hr/><p>The kid was taking his sweet time showering. I wondered if he had escaped through the window while I was busy. I had to reheat the mugs of hot chocolate since he was taking so long.</p><p>After thirty minutes, I heard the creak of stairs of someone coming down. I glanced up from the newspaper. He stood there, dressed in my sweats and old Vizard University tee that didn't fit me anymore. I had bulked up since and it was too small now. It looked good on him. Made him look more like a college student than a high-schooler. For some reason, that made me feel a little better.</p><p>"Made some hot chocolate," I remarked, holding up two mugs. He glanced at it, a little dazed. He didn't move from his spot.</p><p>I sighed in aggravation and parked myself on the living room couch, setting the mugs on the coffee table. I looked up at him. Thunder rumbled outside, like a bulldozer plowing right outside my window. After what seemed like ages, the boy finally sat down on the far edge of the sofa, hands cupping around one of the cups. He didn't take a sip.</p><p>My hands twitched, aching to touch him. To keep them preoccupied, I turned on the telly. Of all the shows to come on, it was Tom &amp; Jerry. My guilty pleasure. I didn't care how cliché it got, I still laughed my head off every time Tom got a piano to the head.</p><p>And cue piano scene. I chuckled. I wasn't the only one. I looked at the kid in surprise. He turned red in embarrassment.</p><p>'You like Tom &amp; Jerry?' I asked curiously. He glanced down at his mug, playing with the handle. He nodded.</p><p>His hair was partially dry now and fell softly across his face, revealing his pale neck. It taunted me, that single sliver of naked skin. I wanted to touch him so <em>fucking </em>badly.</p><p>My hands twitched again. But it wasn't the only thing that twitched. My stares were starting to unnerve him.</p><p>I placed a hand on his knee. He jumped. I tightened my grip, a warning not to move. With my free hand I turned his face to mine, a finger tracing the scar running up the side of his face. His olive eyes brimmed with confusion and fear. He licked his lower lip. And that did it for me.</p><p>I leaned forward and kissed him.</p><hr/><p>He was a scrawny thing. Don't get me wrong he had a good bit of noticeable muscle on his tiny frame despite the bruises marring his skin. But his attempts to push me off were pathetic. Either he wasn't trying or I was too strong. Didn't really matter. At least he didn't cry. I never got to have a kid so I wouldn't have known what to do. And besides, what do you say to a kid that just got raped?</p><p>He shuddered when I finally pulled away. He didn't move from his place as I zipped up and then proceeded to pull out a cigarette. The first drag loosened my knotted shoulders and I sighed in relief, blowing out a stream of smoke.</p><p>"There's a room upstairs," I stated casually. "First door on your right. I put a hot water bottle under the sheets since it gets chilly in there sometimes."</p><p>He pulled his shirt down, hiding the hickey I had left on his stomach, and just stared at the ceiling. I tilted my head. "Can you walk?"</p><p>Silence. He slowly shook his head.</p><p>I sighed, irritated, and jabbed the cigarette butt in an ashtray. Pulling his pants up roughly, I picked him up bridal-style. He winced in pain but refused to say a word. Even at the height of the moment, he refused to utter a word except an occasional whimper. Quite the silent fellow.</p><p>There was a red stain on the couch. Great. Gotta clean that, too.</p><p>We passed by the fireplace as I made my way to the stairs. I focused way too hard on the stairs, determined not to stare at the mantle, at the single picture frame perched there. Lisa smiled softly at me, her single dark braid flung over her shoulder, and her lovely green eyes watching me curiously. She rarely smiled. It was why I loved that photo of her so much. I called it her Mona Lisa smile. Would she still be smiling if she saw me right now?</p><p>His eyes were already getting heavy by the time I slipped him between the sheets. He gratefully curled up in the warm blanket, wrapping himself in it like a tight cocoon. He lay on his good side, the side free of any scars and marks. For all the world, he looked like an exhausted teenager who had probably played too many video games into the night.</p><p>I reached out to ruffle his hair but then pulled away at the last minute. I checked the windows, making sure they were securely shut. I cautiously closed the door behind me, careful not to wake him. Then I padlocked it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies for people who were reading this and thought it was a standalone. I forgot to mark it as a multi-chapter work. Thank you to those who commented and gave kudos!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Two weeks ago</em>
</p>
<p>Two youngsters stumbled through the school grounds. The girl laughed playfully, taunting the dark-haired boy who was grinning from ear-to-ear as he chased after her. The two weaved through trees, her strawberry blonde mane whipping about her cherubic face, his olive-green eyes bright with joy focused on her alone, and their laughter echoing like a musical symphony.</p>
<p>The sun kissed the horizon, throwing splashes of color across the sky like a paint palette. Shadows darted out from the trees and stretched out to touch the couple dancing between them. Fireflies flitted about, their soft glow transforming the little forest into an enchanted fairy-tale. But the picture was far from complete.</p>
<p>Suddenly, the girl's barefoot slipped in the dew-soaked grass, sending her tumbling. But not before she grabbed the boy's collar and took him with her before he could back away. He didn't seem to mind. He just laughed harder, his breathy chuckles infectious for soon the girl was giggling as madly. But it all died down when they locked eyes, and held their breath.</p>
<p>He reached out to brush a lock of hair behind her ear. And the smile he gave her would have melted any girl's heart. They did nothing but stare at each other. For all the world, they looked like two lovers lost in a magical forest, caught under a spell they didn't dare break.</p>
<p>But alas, all spells must be broken. And this one by the haughty shout of a gangly, light-haired boy with the face of a sly fox.</p>
<p>The couple scrambled away from each other as if they had been burned. By the looks on their faces, they seemed like they had been caught doing something dirty and were ashamed of it.</p>
<p>The foxy boy sauntered over, followed by his posse consisting of a bespectacled, brown-haired boy and a dark-skinned lad wearing a silver cap that hid half his face. He must have spouted something spiteful just then because the girl turned red and the dark-haired boy flinched.</p>
<p>The girl decided to use the power of reason, the weapon of choice granted to her sex from birth. She timidly came up to him, talking fervently and fidgeting with her hair. She looked like she was begging him for something, her face desperate and her eyes wet. She gestured to the boy behind her who was now fidgeting in discomfort.</p>
<p>The silver-haired boy looked bored. He even yawned in her face, as if he couldn't be bothered with what she had to say. He casually pushed her aside mid-sentence and strolled over to the boy with the shaggy hair. The fox sized up the trembling rabbit, noting the way his tanned skin had paled a little, and how his hand were balled into shaking fists. He smirked. Then, without warning, the fox boy reeled back and drove a fist into his victim's stomach.</p>
<p>The girl screamed and lunged forward but the dark-skinned boy held her back, looking like he'd rather be doing anything else than picking on a girl and her lover. The fox boy's guffaws echoed through the trees, giving the illusion that hundreds of boys were laughing at the wheezing boy on the ground who was trying to crawl away from his assailant. And to think that not moments ago this place had been an enchanted forest filled with the laughs of lovers.</p>
<p>The glasses boy nimbly stepped over, his smile unfaltering. He kicked the boy on the floor, forcing him to curl up on himself. That just made the girl cry fat tears, and the fox boy laugh harder till there were fat tears in his eyes as well. Then he grinned broadly and pulled out a Swiss Army knife. He flicked out the blade.</p>
<p>The boy on the ground noticed it and paled. He scrambled to escape but the bespectacled teen grabbed him and yanked him to his feet. Maybe the trapped teen was too slow or badly injured that no matter how hard he struggled he couldn't break free. He wasn't even looking at the fox boy. His eyes were fixed on the blade, its sharp edge screaming for blood. The girl was a sobbing mess. Fox boy raised his weapon, his face split in a manic grin.</p>
<p>A car horn blared out of nowhere. Everyone jumped, abruptly jolted from the madness that was choking them. It was only for a few seconds but that was all that was needed.</p>
<p>The girl drove a knee into her captor's groin, incapacitating him before hurling herself at the fox boy and sending him flailing. Everything happened so fast that the only thing anyone could make out were three, excruciatingly pained screams.</p>
<p>There was the fox boy's yelp as he swallowed a mound of dirt, the glasses boy's shout as his captive jabbed an elbow into his nose, and the dark-haired boy's cry as the switchblade sliced through his cheek.</p>
<p>He stood there for a moment, dazed as blood trickled down his face. He jumped as the girl dragged him away, urging him to run away with her. He followed her without a word, not because he was afraid but because he knew not what else to do.</p>
<p>As soon as the two were out of sight, the fox boy staggered to his feet and cursed the heavens. After throwing quite the dramatic tantrum, he grudgingly helped his posse up before exiting the grounds in a huff. The other two followed, one cradling a bloody nose and the other walking with a funny limp.</p>
<p>I propped an elbow on the window and took a long drag from my cigarette. Once I was done I flicked it out and drove off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this stories years ago. I was rereading/editing it and saw that Kensei was using an iPod. Holy crap how we have evolved....</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>PRESENT</em>
</p><p>'You ain't nothing but a hound dog,' I sang as I chased the bacon around the frying pan with my spatula. I managed to successfully transfer it to a plate in one piece.</p><p>Snapping my fingers to the beat of "Hound Dog", I shook my leg like how the old King of Rock used to nail it. Ain't bragging but I got some sweet moves for a guy my age. I haven't been robbed of my ability to dance yet.</p><p>I smoothly slid to the side and spun around. Oh yeah, I still got it.</p><p>I stopped mid-spin and almost collided with the edge of the counter. The kid was staring me curiously from the kitchen door. Guess the smell of bacon and eggs finally woke him up. Good thing I had remembered to unlock his door this morning. Wouldn't have wanted him to freak out or anything.</p><p>'Um, mornin',' I said awkwardly. Wasn't every day somebody caught me dancing in the kitchen to the music in my head. 'Um, hungry?'</p><p>Must be. He hadn't had anything since the hot chocolate last night.</p><p>He glanced at the stove. He noticed the bacon in the plate and fidgeted, hunger apparent in his gaze. That's when I noticed the purple hickeys on the side of his neck where I had nipped him yesterday. I winced.</p><p>'Um, does bacon and eggs sound good?' I asked. 'I can get some started for you if you can get the toast going, er…'</p><p><em>And cue you telling me your name without me sounding like a stalker, </em>I thought. I knew his name. But I didn't want him to know I knew. I wanted to laugh at my hypocritical politeness.</p><p>Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy to get the boy talking. Nodding his head, he made his way to the toaster. There was a limp in his walk. I must've gone harder than I thought.</p><p>I watched as he pulled bread out of the package. He scrunched his forehead as he surveyed the toaster, wondering how to work it. He looked kinda cute all confused. And when he bit his lower lip I was damn tempted to kiss him.</p><p>I started humming "Hound Dog", trying to focus on cooking more bacon.</p><p>'What is that?'</p><p>I almost dropped the sizzling strip of meat on my foot when he spoke. Jeez, if him talking meant I had a heart attack I'd rather him stay mute all the time. But, hey, he was speaking to me at least. That was a relief.</p><p>'What?' I said dumbly.</p><p>The boy quickly lowered his head, a blush spreading across his cheeks. I guess my staring was unnerving him. 'What you were humming just now,' he murmured. 'You were singing it before too.'</p><p>That was more than three words. I was impressed. I hope I wasn't jinxing it by thinking that.</p><p>'Oh, "Hound Dog"? It's Elvis Presley. I'm a big fan.'</p><p>He looked at me, a little perplexed. 'Who?'</p><p>My eyes almost popped out. 'Elvis Presley? King of Rock? Jailhouse Rock? Lilo and Stitch?'</p><p>I was throwing every Presley reference I could think of but the kid was as blank as a whiteboard. I didn't know whether to curse his parents for depriving him of good music or check his pulse to see how was he even alive.</p><p>I knew a little education was in order. So I pulled out my trusty iPod and plugged it into the speakers I had set up in my kitchen. Because, hey, cooking is incomplete without background music. That's what Lis-</p><p>"Hound Dog" blasted through and I was already bobbing my head to the beat. God, that guy had been something. His music was timeless.</p><p>'He was a phenomenon,' I found myself saying. 'New style, new look, new sound. Girls wanted to date him, guys wanted to be him, and parents hated him because they thought he was a bad influence. A one-of-a-kind gem. On a whole other level of his own.'</p><p>I don't know why I was telling him that. I mean, I never missed a chance to spout random facts about my man Elvis. But I hadn't talked about Elvis since-</p><p>'<em>You ain't nothing but a hooound doog,' </em>Elvis growled over the grating guitar. I snapped my fingers in time to the rhythm. The kid stared at me like I had gone mental. But I saw this curiosity in him. Like he wanted to understand me. I started snapping in his direction, smiling encouragingly.</p><p>'C'mon,' I coaxed.</p><p>He pushed a lock of hair behind an ear, exposing that scar again. He looked hesitant. But slowly, he began to snap with me. He was a little offbeat but I got him to follow my lead and soon we were both snapping our fingers to one of the greatest rock classics of all time.</p><p>'That's it! You got it,' I said with a grin. I started bobbing my head and he followed too, smiling a little too.</p><p>I felt delirious. There was bacon cooking away on the stove, the smell of crispy toast in the air, sunlight streaming through the window and Elvis Presley blasting away on the speakers.</p><p>And then, there was us. Me, trying to fix my broken life, and this kid, who needed someone to fix his. When I saw his smile, I forgot everything about myself and got lost in that beautiful smile. And when he looked at me...I hadn't seen him smile that big in so long. This felt right. We…we needed each other.</p><p>'Shuuhei.' The boy looked at me, his smile dazzling. 'My name is Shuuhei.'</p><p>I stared at him for a minute. Then, dropping my spatula, I pressed him back into the counter and captured his mouth in a heated kiss. We stayed like that for a while. He didn't try to pull away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it's so short but it's all part of the plot. Trust me. I is writer</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A WEEK AGO</em>
</p><p>'We can't.'</p><p>'What do you mean? Hey, we're okay, Shuu. Just…let me talk to Gin. I'm sure he'll understand once I-!'</p><p>Green eyes stared in disbelief. 'Ran, he <em>hit</em> you. And that's because you were hanging around <em>me</em>.'</p><p>A laugh. 'Don't be silly, Shuu. He's my brother. We always fight like this. He never means to hit me-'</p><p>'There is a <em>bruise </em>the size of a ping pong on your cheek.' A hand feathered over a tanned cheek, marred by a purple welt. It stopped and withdrew. 'Look, it's best we stopped seeing each other. It's for the best, really…'</p><p>Blue eyes widened in surprise. 'Who says?! You don't get to decide this relationship, Shuuhei!'</p><p>'I'm not trying to do that, Ran. I'm just…I don't want to see you get hurt anymore.'</p><p>'But if it's for you, I don't care! Can't you see that?' Crystal blue eyes shined with tears. 'You're worth it, Shuuhei.'</p><p>Mouth set in a hard line. Green eyes turned cold. 'I'm not. And it's stupid of you to think that I'm worth hurting over.'</p><p>A flash of hurt. A step back. 'Shuuhei…you don't really mean that…' A hand scrambled for the reassurance of the other's.</p><p>Said hand retracted sharply. 'Go home, Ran.'</p><p>Tears began to flow even faster. 'Shuuhei…'</p><p>'I said go home! I don't ever want to see you again, you hear me?!'</p><p>This stung far more than the other remarks. Ran stepped back, tears flowing freely as she stared at him in shock. 'Fuck you,' she whispered before turning around and running away. She didn't bother looking back, not even when she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight. It was heart-wrenching. Really.</p><p>Shuuhei watched her go. When she was gone, he looked up at the sky and suddenly howled in anguish. In a burst of anger, he kicked the bus stop sign, muttering a slew of curses either at himself or at the bus stop. It was hard to tell with the way he was pummeling the poor sign like it was its fault.</p><p>'Doughnut?'</p><p>He jumped and looked up, suddenly noticing me. Probably didn't realize that someone had been around to watch that melodramatic scene. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment. I simply held out a bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.</p><p>'They're fresh,' I added. Freshly baked glazed doughnuts were to die for. I was surprised I wasn't a fat, old man yet. And that probably would've made me look creepier than I already was.</p><p>The boy blinked slowly, gazing at the bag and then back at me. Guess his mum taught him not to take anything from strangers. Well, he was missing his chance. My bus was pulling in now. Since he didn't make a move, I retracted the bag and began to fish out coins for the bus fare.</p><p>'Well, here's food for thought anyway,' I said gruffly. 'Chasing after things that are bad for you can get you in trouble. So you did good saving her from that.'</p><p>He raised an eyebrow at me, the bandaged side of his face crinkling as he did. I noticed there was a yellowing bruise along his jaw. Was it that Gin boy again?</p><p>It wasn't until I was passing him to get on the bus did he speak up. Maybe I was meant to hear. Maybe not. But it made my heart ache for him.</p><p>'But it's so unfair that the things that make you happy are the things that are bad for you,' he said softly, eyes downcast.</p><p>I simply pretended I didn't hear and boarded the bus, taking the window seat overlooking the bus stop. Thank God the windows were tinted.</p><p>I watched the boy stare at the ground as he leaned against the stop sign, lost in his thoughts. The bus hissed as it started to move. Then, tucking his hands into his jean pockets, he sauntered off with a dazed look. I sighed and settled back into my seat. My eyes wandered to the ceiling.</p><p>'I know, kid,' I murmured bitterly. 'Believe me, I know.'</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>PRESENT</em>
</p>
<p>'Well, since my baby left me,' I sang, punctuating each phrase with a skip down the stairs. 'I found a new place to dwell, it's down at the end of lonely street at-Heartbreak Hotel, where I'll be. Heartbreak is so lonely, baby…heartbreak is so lonely…so lonely...I could die...'</p>
<p>I hummed the rest as I waltzed into the kitchen. I flipped a glass in the air, spun around, and caught it before it hit the counter. Who said I was getting too old to do dumb shit like this?</p>
<p>As I poured myself some water, I gazed out the window into the pitch-black night. The stars had all gone into hiding, leaving the moon all alone to brighten the skies. It was glowing, like it was showing off or something. I could see almost every crater on its surface. But that just made it even more gorgeous against the black sky.</p>
<p>Did I sound like I was in a good mood? Damn straight I was in a good mood. Kid was starting to talk to me. And not just when I instigated the conversation. Now, he asked me questions, told me what he liked and disliked, and even…he even said it was okay for me to hug him when we watched Tom &amp; Jerry at night.</p>
<p>I shivered, remembering the cool feel of his skin against mine, the feathery scamper of his fingers as they dug into my shirt, and the deliciously soft press of his plump lips against mine. He stopped resisting me. But he didn't pull me close either. He would just…lie there, letting me do what I liked.</p>
<p>I frowned. It didn't bother me much. I knew it was going to take a while before he accepted me. Still, some reciprocation would be nice. I didn't even know if whatever I was doing was making him feel good or hurting him. Whenever I asked, he just looked away and stayed silent.</p>
<p>Well, you can't have everything.</p>
<p>I heard the faint sound of running water above me. Made sense. We went really hot and heavy tonight. Damn it, I had work in the morning. I groaned. I was so tempted to call in sick.</p>
<p>What would I do with the rest of the day though? I could take Shuuhei to the park. Bet he'd like some fresh air after being cooped up in here for a month. I'd have to keep a close eye on him.</p>
<p>Still...what if someone recognized him?</p>
<p>'Should've thought of that before you kidnapped him,' said a snide voice from behind.</p>
<p>I paled. The tumbler slipped from my hand, shattering in the sink. Heart beating a mile a minute, I slowly turn around, throat too constricted to utter a word as my eyes landed on the last person I expected to see lounging on the living room couch.</p>
<p>Lisa smiled. It was her Mona Lisa smile. 'Hello, Kensei.'</p>
<p>I finally found my voice. 'You're not supposed to be here,' I croaked.</p>
<p>She inspected her nails nonchalantly. 'There's someone else who isn't supposed to be here either.'</p>
<p>My knees were knocking against each other. She gazed up at me, eyes cold and hard. I swallowed. 'Please…you can't be here right now…'</p>
<p>'Oh? And why not?' She was suddenly standing no more than five feet from me. I flinched. 'That's a little rude considering this used to be my home, too. <em>Our </em>home.' She looked around and scoffed. 'You haven't changed a thing, have you? Haven't even moved that chair you said you disliked. Is it because I liked it there? You still miss me, don't you? Just say it. You miss me terribly.'</p>
<p>My chest hurt. Of course I missed her. I was madly in love with her. I'm <em>still </em>madly in love with her. That's why-</p>
<p>'-he looks like me?'</p>
<p>I shook my head clear and looked at Lisa. And inhaled sharply. My eyes trained on the tiny bundle in her hands, heart pounding rapidly.</p>
<p>'That's why you brought him here, isn't it?' Lisa continued, completely unaware of my eyes glued to the bundle she was rocking. 'The boy. He looks like me. He reminds you of me. He's going to figure it out sooner or later. What then, Kensei? What're you going to tell him then?'</p>
<p>That I'm sick. That I'm sick in the head and body. Why the hell would I be seeing Lisa and…<em>that</em>…</p>
<p>'What…' I whispered, body shaking. 'What's…that…in your arms…'</p>
<p>She looked at me quizzically. 'Isn't it obvious?' she remarked, pulling back the blanket. 'It's your son.'</p>
<p>A cherubic face with pale skin and soft green eyes stared back at me. I grabbed the edge of the sink, the room spinning around me. I was going to throw up.</p>
<p>'Mr. Muguruma?'</p>
<p>I glanced up in my haze. Shuuhei was standing near the staircase, concerned. Lisa was gone. So was the baby. I clutched my chest, feeling it damp with sweat.</p>
<p>That was so real. She had been <em>right there</em> with her mocking look. I knew she was right. She was always right. But God damn it, did she have be right about <em>this</em>? When everything…everything was going <em>so well</em>…</p>
<p>'Mr. Muguruma, is everything alright?'</p>
<p>His hair was still wet from the shower. Like the day I picked him up. And he was wearing one of my old university tees again. He looked so small and frail in it, like the fabric was eating him up. I just wanted to…</p>
<p>He let out a muffled yelp as I pressed my lips against his. He stumbled backwards on the stairs, hissing as his elbow hit the edge as we went down. I bit into his lower lip.</p>
<p>'I need you,' I growled, yanking his sweatpants off. 'I need you <em>now</em>.'</p>
<p>He let out a pitiful cry as I entered him after preparing him roughly using only my spit. I didn't want to hurt him. But I wasn't going to go back to my bedroom to finish the job. I needed him. I needed to forget. Otherwise I'd go mad.</p>
<p>Lisa sighed, still rocking that bundle in that God awful chair. 'You already are,' Lisa murmured.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>5 DAYS AGO</em>
</p><p>It was a lazy Saturday morning. Even the paperboy didn't come by the neighborhood until 10am. But the house with the purple door was already awake; doors slamming, people yelling, and glass shattering so often you wondered if they were replaceable.</p><p>The last door to slam was the purple one before silence lapsed over the broken home. Shuuhei hurried down the porch steps, already dressed in his work vest and trousers. He was also donning a fresh purpling bruise on his left cheek, right over the old scar. Despite the scowl he wore, despite the hatred simply radiating off him, tears streaked his cheeks. He kept wiping them away, trying to pretend that they weren't there.</p><p>He finally stopped all together, when that house was out of sight and he was truly alone. Only then did he let go and buried his face in his hands to allow his tears to flow freely. He didn't cry noisily or tremble like how other kids cried. He was a quiet crier. It was pitiful to watch. What kid would feel so unsafe in his own home that he couldn't even cry there?</p><p>A shadow flitted across an alley. Shuuhei saw it and quickly looked up, startled. His tears had stopped but his eyes and nose were still red. A dark-skinned boy crept out from behind a dumpster. It was the same kid from last week.</p><p>Another kid, taller and more weedy-looking, sauntered out from around the corner while casually twirling a baseball bat and wearing a malicious grin. Simultaneously, a blue-haired, muscular boy rose up from behind a bush, cracking his knuckles. Shuuhei took a step back, feeling uneasy. He knew something was wrong and that they certainly weren't here to comfort him. And when the familiar fox boy popped up from behind the taller boy, all of Shuuhei's fears were confirmed.</p><p>He ran. He didn't seem to care where. As long as it was far away from those boys he didn't care where his feet took him.</p><p>The other boys gave chase, laughing and hooting like it was some kind of fun game. Catch the Shuuhei. Beat the Shit out of Shuuhei. Tag, You're Dead Meat. Or whatever fucked up games kids played these days.</p><p>Shuuhei knew he was a goner. It was four against one. Sooner or later, he was going to tucker out, and they would finally get to test their fists on him. If he stopped now to catch his breath, he was dead. If he kept running, he was dead. It was a catch-22 and there was no escaping his predicament.</p><p>So it would seem to any logical person.</p><p>So, either this kid was a bloody genius or a bloody psychotic. It had to be the latter because why else would anyone turn around and run straight at their attackers? Because he was a psychopath, that's why. Only a psychopath would think it to be a smart idea to attack the leader of the pack, who happened to be the fox boy.</p><p>Only a psychopath would feign an attack to scare the leader shitless and make him backtrack into his posse, creating a domino effect that turned the whole pack into a tangled mess. And only a psychopath would then seize the moment to vault a wall via dumpster and disappear around the corner, leaving the boys to curse him to oblivion as they shoved each off to get back on their feet.</p><p>Yep, that kid was a bloody genius psychopath.</p><p>Who looked like he wasn't going to make it to work at that rate. Especially if those boys managed to untangle quickly and restarted the hunt, now fueled with a thirst for blood and revenge.</p><p>I whirred up my car and caught up with Shuuhei. He gawped at me as I skidded to a halt and rolled the window down.</p><p>'Get in,' I growled. He was a little out of it. Running for your life could really muddle you up. 'I said get in if you don't want to become chicken fodder.'</p><p>Just then, fox boy burst out from around the corner. He was huffing hard. Must've been eager to put the hurt on Shuuhei for making a fool of him. He glared at Shuuhei, hands curling into fists as he burst into a sprint.</p><p>I didn't have to repeat myself. Shuuhei scrambled into my car. I didn't even wait for him to slam the door as I sped up. The fox kid angrily thumped the trunk of my car. He kept running, spewing profanities at us. Charming boy.</p><p>Shuuhei didn't relax until the bully had finally given up and was out of sight. He slumped back and gave a sigh of relief. He was safe.</p><p>He glanced at me from the corner of his eye. 'Thanks,' he mumbled. He was still shaking from that close encounter.</p><p>I just shrugged. He had been in trouble. I just thought it was right to help him. Then, on a whim, I cleared my throat. 'You should pick your fights more carefully,' I said quietly. 'Don't go challenging people who don't fight fair.'</p><p>He snorted and glanced out the window. 'I don't pick 'em. They pick me.' A pause. 'You're the guy from the bus stop.'</p><p>My hands tightened on the steering wheel, heart racing. 'Yeah. And you're the one who broke that poor girl's heart.'</p><p>He continued to stare out at the passing suburbs. 'I thought you said I was saving her...'</p><p>'You were. Though it doesn't look like it worked out for you.' I was glad he wasn't questioning how I found him. 'Was that her jealous new boyfriend?'</p><p>'Her brother.'</p><p>'Seems to have a few screws loose.'</p><p>'...I've heard he's killed people.'</p><p>Alright, maybe more than a few screws. Probably needed to be sent to an asylum. </p><p>'Maybe you should tell your parents about him. It doesn't seem like you're safe around him.'</p><p>His pause lasted a lot longer this time. I thought for a minute he was going to ignore me.</p><p>'It's not that simple,' he said softly. I chose not to say anything lest I gave away that I knew more than I was admitting. </p><p>We rode in silence until I came to a halt at a red light. We were at the interstate crossing that took us to the city.</p><p>'Um…if you don't mind…' he finally spoke up and fidgeted in his seat a little. 'Do you think you could drop me off at the Apollo? It's the little café opposite Visored Real Estates.'</p><p>I was about to nod when a sudden thought crossed my mind. It wasn't intentional. The fact that there was suddenly an opportunity and would probably never happen again made me hesitate.</p><p>My eyes zeroed in on the red light. If I went right on the interstate, it would take us to the city. But if I turned left, it would take us to my house. It was pretty simple. We'd be there in less than five minutes before he realized what was going on. And even if he did figure it out, I was stronger. It would be no problem knocking him out and taking him. He would be safe with me. Safe from that murderous fox boy. Safe from his abusive father. Safe from-</p><p>The light turned green. I turned right. I almost ran into the curb since I was shaking. The boy didn't notice and just murmured a thanks. I took the silence to calm my nerves before the city scape appeared over the horizon.</p><p>Once we were in the heart of the city and gotten past the morning traffic, I let the kid navigate me to the little café. It had fake Greek columns in the front with little tables and chairs setup outside. There was also a Greek alphabetized menu board propped up next to the entrance. Looked like the Soup of the Day was minestrone. God help anyone who had dyslexia and tried to read that board.</p><p>'Um, see you around, I guess,' I said awkwardly as Shuuhei stepped out of the car. 'And…try to take care of yourself, alright?'</p><p>He paused, hand on the door handle and one foot on the pavement. His lips were moving.</p><p>'Sorry?' I asked.</p><p>'Nothing,' he said quickly. He shut the door, fixed his vest and plastered on a smile as he walked into the café. I noticed his cheek was already starting to swell.</p><p>I waited until he was out of sight before driving off.</p><p>I heard what he said. And for a second, I wished I had turned left instead.</p><p>
  <em>'Would you like to?'</em>
</p><p>I pressed my employee-parking pass on the sensor and drove into the underground parking lot of Visored Real Estates. Sometimes I wondered if Urahara just enjoyed working me to the bone on weekends. Ah well, at least he gave me a bonus if I did.</p><p>I adjusted my tie in the driving mirror. Time to get to work.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>PRESENT</em>
</p><p>'She's pretty.'</p><p>I froze. Taking a deep breath I looked up from my plate. Shuuhei was staring at the mantelpiece. At Lisa. My Mona Lisa.</p><p>He continued eating, unaware of my stillness. 'Who is she?'</p><p>Who is she? She was the love of my life. My reason to live. The joy in my laugh. My dreams. My hopes. My nightmares...</p><p>I tried to play it cool, slowly eating my spaghetti although I couldn't really taste anything anymore. 'She was my wife,' I grunted.</p><p>'Oh.' He was staring at his plate, silent. 'I'm sorry. I didn't-'</p><p>'Doesn't matter. She's dead.' Oh God, Kensei, why did you have to say that so callously? Why did you even have to mention it? He doesn't have to know. If he knew…if he knew how it happened he'd-</p><p>'I-I'm sorry.'</p><p>'Like I said it doesn't matter.' I stood up suddenly and grabbed my half full plate. I wasn't hungry anymore.</p><p>He stood up too. 'Here,' he said, reaching out for my plate. 'Let me-'</p><p>'You don't have to do anything,' I bit out, heading to the garbage can to throw my leftovers. </p><p>shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup</p><p>It wasn't his fault. He was just making a statement. Why was it bothering me so fucking much? It happened a year ago. I was over it now. I went to therapy. I confided in friends. The doctors said I was fine. So then why-</p><p>'It's guilt.'</p><p>Lisa leaned against the kitchen sink, completely calm as I viciously washed my dish and avoided looking in her direction. 'You feel guilty for what you're doing to him. To <em>me</em>.'</p><p>'You're not supposed to be here,' I murmured. 'You're dead. Dead, you hear me?'</p><p>'I'm not here because I want to torment you. You're the one conjuring up his dead wife all the time.'</p><p>'I'm not crazy. The doctor said I was fine. I didn't need treatment anymore. He said-'</p><p>'Speaking of doctors, ask the boy if someone called today.'</p><p>I suddenly felt lightheaded and dizzy. Lisa leaned in close. 'Go on. Ask him. Let's see what he does when he sees the real you.'</p><p>I swallowed bitterly. 'Shuuhei, did someone…call today?'</p><p>He had been clearing the table. All of the sudden, the clinking of dishes stopped. I could almost here him think: should I lie or tell the truth?</p><p>'Yes,' he said slowly. 'But I didn't pick up…'</p><p>I breathed. My heart began to settle.</p><p>'…so the person left a voice message.'</p><p>I froze. One more question loomed in my mind although I already knew the answer to that.</p><p>'Did you hear it?'</p><p>Again he hesitated, weighing the outcome of his answer. 'Well-'</p><p>I stumbled out of the kitchen towards the phone, pressing the voicemail button.</p><p>
  <em>You have 1 new message</em>
</p><p>
  <em>BEEP!</em>
</p><p>'Hello, Kensei, this is your therapist Dr. Urahara. I was just checking up on you to see if those new pills were working. You complained about headaches and hallucinations so those should take the edge off. Also, we're long over due for another sess-'</p><p>
  <em>BEEP!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Message deleted</em>
</p><p>I knew he was behind me. I didn't have to turn around to see him. I was gripping the edge of the table so hard my knuckles were white.</p><p>'I'm not crazy,' I said hoarsely. I had to say it. I didn't care if he wasn't thinking it. He had to know. I just…</p><p>'Kensei, I never-'</p><p>'Don't…' I said through gritted teeth, my voice strained. '<em>lie to me</em>.'</p><p>Everyone lied to me. Ever since…ever since Lisa was gone, everyone did nothing but <em>lie </em>to me.</p><p>'It'll be alright.'</p><p>'It'll get better. Trust me.'</p><p>'You just need to be around friends, Kensei.'</p><p>'You'll find someone again. You just got to have faith.'</p><p>Lies, lies, and even more lies. I was sick of it. Talking to my family did nothing. My friends were hollow. My therapy was nothing but an emotional drain for me. I wanted out.</p><p>'<em>What do you think he'll look like, Kensei? I want him to look like you. He can have my eyes, like you want him to. It's so crazy, isn't it? In just a few months, we're going to be parents to a baby boy…'</em></p><p>She had been my world, my everything. I wanted to be with her forever and more. And when she got pregnant, I knew it was destiny. Then...everything went to hell.</p><p>'<em>Where's Lisa? Is she okay!? Doctor, what's wrong with my Lisa?'</em></p><p>'<em>Everything is fine, Mr. Muguruma. It's just a difficult birth. It's taking a toll on her.'</em></p><p>'<em>Doctor, will she live? Will she be alright? What about the baby? Listen, I told her I'd be there for her. I told her I'd stay by her side until the end. Please, just let me in. She needs me. Lisa needs me. Just. Let. Me. THROUGH! LISA!'</em></p><p>At first, I listened to everyone's suggestions. But after a few months I got sick of it. I stopped answering my phone. I stopped going to my sessions. I stopped taking my meds. Everyone started to worry. I didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I was slowly slipping into darkness and I couldn't be bothered to save myself.</p><p>And then <em>he </em>came along.</p><p>I slowly turned to face Shuhhei. The boy was staring at me, wide-eyed and concerned. His hands were clenched into fists at his side.</p><p>'Kensei?' he said tentatively.</p><p>I had been standing at the bus stop, a year since I last saw Lisa, and there he was, waiting for the bus with that decrepit backpack of his.</p><p>My entire body had frozen. My heart had stopped. I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought the world was torturing me. How was it possible for someone to look that similar to her? I didn't believe in reincarnation but at that moment, if someone told me that the sky was red, I would've believed them.</p><p>For the first time in a year, I had wanted to cry, scream and laugh all at the same time. I had given up on life. And then there it was at the bus stop, calling out to me to live, giving me a second chance to be a better man, lover, father.</p><p>Call me a sick man for all I care. I couldn't forget him. I found out who he was, where he lived, worked, studied. I wanted to know everything about him. I knew it was no coincidence that I had met someone who was the spitting image of my wife. And that was how I found out his life was worse than mine, living with a monster who called himself a father, and being bullied just for existing.</p><p>At that moment, I wanted to save him. Take him away from that horrible life. But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was already being a pervert, stalking him everywhere. Kidnapping him would not only put my life at risk but his as well. It was unthinkable. I was content with just watching him. Having him would be too painful, too…good for a man like me.</p><p>But then that day at the restaurant he said something to me that I couldn't walk away from. My mind had been made up. I was going to take him home with me. And there was no going back after that.</p><p>I slowly walked up to him and gently cupped his face. He let me. He was strangely calm. It almost made me nervous. Damn it, I wish I hadn't thrown those pills away.</p><p>Licking my lips, I leaned down and pressed my mouth against his. He didn't pull away, letting me deepen the kiss. I kissed him long and hard, and when I pulled away, he gasped for air. I leaned my forehead against his.</p><p>'I promised,' I murmured. 'I made a promise to you.' I now framed his face with my hands. 'And I won't go back on it.'</p><p>Shuuhei looked me with those lovely green eyes and nodded. I kissed him again.</p><p>Sometimes I wondered if he was my savior instead of me being his.</p><p>Lisa crossed her arms and studied the boy. Her eyes narrowed. 'There's something off about him,' she murmured.</p>
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